Gifts

This time of year always generates a lot of conversation around gifts. When I was young, this was a very exciting time. My sister and I would circle multiple items in the Sears catalog knowing we wouldn't get everything but we knew we were getting something.

Gifts are like that. They create excitement and anticipation in both the giver and the receiver. I have given and gotten a lot of great gifts over the years. That sense of excitement as the paper is being torn just before opening the box to reveal the surprise inside is one of the great feelings of our lives, isn't it?

But after the opening, beyond the initial euphoria, the real measure of a gift is how long it is used or remembered. My daughter wanted a bow and arrows last year for Christmas. I saw the excitement on her face when she opened that present but I didn't really understand how good that gift was until now, a year later. She still goes out regularly and practices. We've had to buy new arrows because the original ones wore out. She finds shooting her bow relaxing and a great stress-relief. Who knew? But what a great indicator that that was a good gift.

We gave my dad cowboy boots for Christmas 18 years ago. He's had to have them re-soled 3 times! As the gift-giver, there's no better feeling than knowing the gift is used over and over again.

The gifts we give and get this year are great but there's a perspective I am taking with me out of this Christmas season and into 2014. Regardless of the count under the tree, we've all been given some pretty incredible gifts by God. And while they aren't the kind you buy at the store, they are immeasurably valuable. Here's three things I'm suggesting we do between now and January 1st, 2014:

1. Take inventory of your gifts. If you need to, pretend like you're opening your God-given gifts for the first time. Determine what you have been given by the Creator of the universe that are yours specifically. I know people with tangible gifts like singing, painting, or playing an instrument as well as intangible ones like serving, leading, and encouraging. A gift from God is something that you can do that I can only look at and shake my head. It comes naturally to one person and is almost inconceivable to another. You need to know all of the wonderful gifts you've been given and, trust me, you have been given many of them!
2. Once you've taken inventory, determine how well you are utilizing each one. Just like my dad's boots, it pleases God when we are taking what he has so graciously given us and using it to it's fullest. Don't let a gift sit on a shelf and collect dust. There is a Divine purpose for the gifts you've been given but you control whether you choose to maximize them or let them waste away.
3. Resolve to truly use each of your gifts. I know January 1st is the day to make resolutions but the problem is most of those fall by the wayside by January 15th. Start taking inventory now, determine utilization of your gifts, and then write down how you plan to implement taking advantage of each of the gifts you have. Refer back to your plan often. Adjust and adapt your plan to a changing environment but make a commitment to yourself that, from this day forward, none of the gifts you have will be unused again.

One of my favorite speakers is Les Brown. He says:

"The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream."

Don't let that be you! Don't die with unopened or under-utilized gifts! In 2014, I am determined to be more of who God created me to be and hope you will too!

"His lord said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.'" Matthew 25:20

Storms Of Life

Last week, a large portion of the U.S. got hit by Winter Storm Cleon. There was a lot of damage and even some deaths. Lives were disrupted with power outages and icy conditions making it impossible to travel. Dallas/Ft. Worth International Airport, alone, had thousands of flight cancellations. I got to spend a little extra time in Minneapolis because of the issues in Dallas.

The last couple of days, I got to thinking about this storm and the others we face. I'm talking about not just the weather-related storms like Cleon, Katrina, or Sandy (just to name a few), but the other "life storms" that come in and cause chaos and confusion. The sudden death of a close friend or family member. The loss of a job. Health issues that impact our day-to-day lives. Financial burdens that stress and strain the closest of relationships. A child dealing with an issue for the first time on their own where we can't be the problem-solver. There are so many storms that come in. How best to deal with them?

As I ponder these storms, I offer up three things to keep in mind while going through them:

1. Keep your peace - Storms are disruptive. They, by nature, cause chaos and confusion. If you allow yourself to get caught up in it, your thinking becomes irrational and decision-making is impaired. Having grown up in northern Minnesota, rarely did a winter season go by without a story of someone going in the ditch in the middle of a blizzard and, instead of staying in the car and waiting for help, they chose to leave the safety of the vehicle and attempt to walk to the nearest house. This rarely had a positive outcome. Even in the worst of storms, there is peace to be found and it surpasses all understanding. It comes from within and if you are able to maintain your peace, resolution will come. Keeping your peace is imperative to weathering any storm.
2. Find the lessons to be learned - Every storm brings lessons to be learned. Cleon taught my wife and me that it's better to stock up in the days leading up to the storm rather than waiting until after to get food and necessities. If you can turn your perspective from the bad the storm has brought to the good that came of it, you will be much better off. Sometimes, the lessons are small, many times they are huge. Always, they are valuable. The lessons learned from the previous storm can get you ready and more able to deal with the next one that comes along.
3. Know that this, too, shall pass - Storms are never forever. They will pass. If you focus too much on the storm and not on keeping your peace and finding the lessons to learn, you may think the storm is here to stay. Trust me, it did not come to stay, it came to pass! Keep a long-term view of your life. Look back on other similar situations that, at the time, you thought were never going to end but did. There is a lot of power in a long-term view of a short-term storm.

Storms will come, how you choose to respond to them is your power. Keep your peace, find the lessons to be learned, and always remember that this, too, shall pass. Do this and you'll not only weather the storm, you'll be better off because of it!

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and  have conquered it for you.] - John 16:33 (AMP)

Giving Thanks For Everything!

When I was 18 years old, my mom, suddenly and tragically, passed away. Sitting at a basketball game, she got a headache. A few short days later, she died from a brain aneurysm. To this day, when someone says they have a headache, I can't help but "go there" for just a moment. Right now you're probably thinking, "What a strange way for a blog titled, 'Observations of an Optimist,' to start." Not really. Let me explain.

Everyone, even optimists, has to deal with tragedies, setbacks, and disappointments. I have met people who suffered horrible abuse as a child. I know others who were born with birth defects that should have debilitated them. Death is part of life and we all have, or will have, to deal with loss. But what I learned from going through the loss of my mom and from the stories of people like Joyce Meyer and Nick Vujicic is that it's not what happens to you, it's how you respond to what happens to you that really matters.

I was watching one of the NFL pre-game shows yesterday. They did a story about the decisions the NFL had to make 50 years ago immediately following the assassination of President Kennedy. Part of the decision-making process whether to play or not to play the scheduled games included the question, "What would President Kennedy want us to do?" I was reminded of a decision I had to make just a couple of days after mom died. Would I play in one of my last high school basketball games or not? Everyone would have understood if I hadn't but I found myself asking, "What would mom want me to do?" Talk about a powerful question! The NFL games were played as scheduled and I participated in my basketball game too.

As we gather this week for Thanksgiving, can I encourage you to be thankful for everything? I'm not advocating giving thanks for the losses, setbacks, and/or disappointments in your life but you can be thankful for the results. While I wish my mom was still here with me, I am extremely thankful for the time I had with her. I'm thankful for the man I've become because of what I had to endure as a result of losing her at such a young age. I don't think I'd be near as independent-minded as I am. I would have made very different decisions in my life had she still been here and that would mean I wouldn't have my wife, Wendy, or our incredible daughter, Victoria. I can't imagine a life without them in it.

Joyce Meyer has said if she could, she would not go back and remove the horrible abuse she endured for years at the hands of her father. Why? Because it's that experience that has made her what she is today and it's her story that helps change people's lives all over the world.

Nick Vujicic will tell you if he could be born with arms and legs he would choose not to. He knows the impact he's having in the lives of youth, as well as adults, globally.

This Thanksgiving, be sure to give thanks for everything!

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Challenge Yourself

The story of David and Goliath is well known. I've heard it used as a metaphor for overcoming the obstacles in your life. This is a very effective and useful approach. However, I'd like to put a little different spin on the story for consideration.

We all know David was a shepherd boy. The youngest son of Jesse. He was tending sheep while his oldest brothers were serving in the Israeli army. The Israelites had come up against the Philistines and Goliath was challenging one of them, any one of them, to a duel. Winner take all. No one on the Israeli side would take the challenge. David just happened to be taking food and supplies to his brothers on the front line when he heard the taunting challenge from Goliath. David stepped up and, in one of the great underdog stories ever, defeated Goliath.

Here's what I'd like you to consider this Monday morning; Goliath was not an obstacle in David's way. David wasn't even supposed to be there, on the front line, that day. David chose the challenge of Goliath.

What challenges are you choosing to take on today?

We all have those daily situations that life throws at us that are challenging. But what we need to realize is that overcoming the situations that come at us are only preparation for the battles we are supposed initiate ourselves. David had faced lions and bears and other obstacles in his daily routine of being a shepherd. But they weren't the challenges that propelled him to his destiny. Goliath was! And Goliath was a challenge he chose to take on.

As you look back on your life, what are the battles you've fought and won (or, maybe, lost but learned from) that were the preparation for a challenge you feel you can now win in pursuit of your purpose? Look for the challenges that will allow you to grow into the person you are called to be. Be aggressive in taking on those challenges of your choosing because of what you've overcome in your past. You're still standing and there's a reason for that. You've conquered your lions and bears along the way. Now, find Goliath and go for it!

"But David said to Saul, 'Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.'
"Saul said to David, 'Go, and the Lord be with you.'" - 1 Samuel 17:34-37

Who Are You?

I attended a company function last week. At this function, I observed activities I've seen thousands of times over my 25 years in business; choices being made that either help or hinder individual careers.

It never ceases to amaze me the way people will choose to act at corporate events. There are typically two different approaches; one includes those who think because they are away from family and their regular routine that it's okay to "let your hair down" and act in a way that's less than professional. The other is maintaining one's professionalism, especially when around peers, knowing that these impressions are what people take away with them when the event is over.

Two months ago, I heard Bruce Turkel, an expert on branding, speak. He said the definition of a brand is "what people say about you when you're not there." As you think about, and work on, your own personal brand, the question has to be asked, "What do people say about you when you're not there?"

There are many tools to help build your personal brand. Linkedin, Twitter, Facebook, blogging, etc. all have a place as you create and propagate your message to the world. While these tools are helpful, we can't forget one of the most powerful and unique; the personal experience. What you say is not near as important as what you do. If your message via the various social sites is not consistent with what people witness when they interact with you, your credibility will be lost immediately and your personal brand will suffer dramatically.

Today, think about your core principles. Determine those things most important to you. Craft your message that is consistent with those principles and start sharing them with the world. THEN, in every interaction, conversation, and email and text exchange make sure your actions are speaking louder than your words as you live out those principles and message.

One of the gentlemen who had tremendous influence on me is Zig Ziglar. I quote him often. I've had the privilege of attending Monday Morning Devotionals at Ziglar corporate headquarters here in Dallas. Zig passed away last November but I have spoken with many who worked for him and those who knew him on a very personal level. One of those people is Bryan Flanagan. Bryan worked for Zig for almost 30 years. When we were talking about Zig a couple of weeks ago, he said something that I consider to be one of the all-time greatest compliments one person can give another. He said of his friend, Zig Ziglar, "He was the most consistent man I've ever met. What you heard him say, what he wrote, every speech he gave, he lived it." Wow! What a legacy that is!

Are your actions consistent with who you want to be? What do people say about you when you're not there? The great news is if you haven't been as consistent as you'd like, you can change that today! Start making better choices. Understand the power of every interaction you have. Get a clear vision of who you are and then start acting in a manner confirming that.

"Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life. Put away from you false and dishonest speech, and willful and contrary talk put far from you. Let your eyes look right on [with fixed purpose], and let your gaze be straight before you. Consider well the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established and ordered aright." Proverbs 4:23-26 (AMP)

What's On Your List?

My wife and I just returned from a long weekend in Cancun, Mexico. We had a wonderful time with my brother- and sister-in-law celebrating his 50th birthday. While we had some great conversations, I will never forget the one my wife and I had with our cab driver from the airport to the resort. Albert was a quiet, young man, probably in his early thirties. During our conversation with him, we learned that he was from a small village 3 hours west of Cancun and had moved to the city to make better wages. He wanted to make more money because Albert had a dream. His dream only became known to us through our questions. He wasn't going to share unless we pressed him. You see, Albert, it turns out, loves baseball. American baseball. And he LOVES, as he called them, the New "Jork Jankees." His love and passion for the game and the team became more evident as he talked. He shared how his favorite team of all time was the 2000 "Jankees" with Clemens, Pettitte, Rivera, Posada, and Knoblach, just to name a few. As he rattled off current players and their statistics, his inflection went up, his pace became more rapid, and his hand gestures increased. Suddenly, he became a little quieter. At a stoplight, he turned to look at us. Then, as if sharing a secret he'd never divulged before, he told how it was his life's dream to see the "Jankees" play in person. He already had a plan. He knew it would be very expensive to attend a game in New "Jork" but he would be happy to see them in Florida against the Marlins. Airfare would be cheaper to Miami than New "Jork." He had relatives he could stay with so as to keep his costs low. You could tell, this was a plan in the making driven by pure passion and desire. This was a "bucket list" item.

It got me thinking about my own list. What got me as excited as Albert as he thought about his beloved game? What has God put in my heart to experience before my time on Earth is over? I realized that while I've been focused on achieving my short-term goals that tend to get a lot of my attention, I had not kept up my "bucket list." We all need those dreams that, just at the mere thought of them, increase our heart rate and push us to make the short-term sacrifices required to attain the long-term objective.

I was in a retail establishment the other day and saw a saying on a plaque that made a great point in this regard:

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

I have re-committed myself to updating, maintaining, and regularly visiting my "bucket list." If you've got one, great! If not, I highly encourage you to jot a few dreams down and see what effect they can have on your outlook for the future. I am confident Albert will see his "Jankees" play and I know you will experience your own bucket list items, as well!

"Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." Proverbs 29:18

You Don't Have To, You Get To!

I heard a sermon a number of years ago that had a profound effect on me. I was recently reminded of it when my wife and I were at our veterinarian's office. A car pulled in after we had parked and gone inside. I remembered I needed something out of our vehicle and went back outside just in time to see an elderly woman attempting to get out of the car next to ours. I immediately ran up to the car and assisted her. She was very appreciative and thanked me multiple times as we entered the office together. My wife witnessed the event and commented how nice that was of me to help her. My response is what brought the memory of that sermon back to me. I said, "It wasn't that I had to help her, I'm really glad I got to help her."

The sermon that Sunday over a decade ago was all around a change in our perspective. If we could make a simple shift from "have to" to "get to," we would find life a lot more rewarding. Allow me to explain.

For years, I did not like putting out Christmas lights on our house. The whole process of decorating actually put me in a very bad mood. My wife, on the other hand, loves having lights, decorations, wreaths, you name it, the more the better as far as she is concerned. Every year, I mumbled and grumbled about having to put up all these decorations. It was such a hassle. Then I heard that sermon. I realized that I didn't "have to" put out the decorations but I "got to" and, in the process, make my wife really happy.

I've continually tried to translate this move from "have to" to "get to" to every area of my life. I no longer "had to" drive up to the stables to help my daughter ride her horse, I "got to." Yard work, always an unpleasant "have to," became an enjoyable "get to" activity. Even mucking out the stalls when we had horses made the transition from burdensome "have to" to a great "get to." You'll no longer "have to" do those menial tasks around the house, you "get to." Various projects and trivial duties at work will no longer "have to" be done, but you'll "get to" do them.

"Have to" carries with it obligation and going against your own will. "Get to" is such a better mindset from which to operate when doing anything, especially for someone else. Our selfish nature tends to kick in and make us feel sorry for ourselves when we are sacrificing to help someone else. By shifting from "have to" to "get to," the obligation is gone. Your will is taken out of the picture. You now shift into a more agreeable mindset and being a blessing. This "get to" perspective is great fuel that fires the engine of an attitude of gratitude. It's hard not to be grateful when you are focused on all the things you "get to" do. Just by changing your perspective, your mind will create reasons why you "get to." Try it. You'll see. When you're picking the kids up from school, tell yourself, "I get to pick them up," your mind will automatically go to, "Yes I do. There are so many parents who would love to be able to talk to their children immediately after school and I am the fortunate one that does." For you salespeople out there, saying, "I get to make cold calls today," your mind will go to, "Yes, I do, and in this job market, how fortunate am I that I have a job that provides me the income and opportunity I have?"

What prompted the sermon and this change in perspective was a speech delivered by Robertson McQuilken as he resigned his post as President of Columbia International University in order to care for his ill wife. If you'd like to hear that powerful 2 minute speech, here you go:

Imagine how less impactful this speech would have been had Dr. McQuilkin not approached it from the "get to" perspective and, instead, focused on himself and what he was giving up because he had to take care of Muriel.

This week, give this perspective shift a try. See if you don't find it to be a powerful way to move from dread and obligation to joy and positivity. Remember, you don't have to do anything, you get to!

"Let each one [give] as he has made up his own mind and purposed in his heart, not reluctantly or sorrowfully or under compulsion, for God loves (He takes pleasure in, prizes above other things, and is unwilling to abandon or to do without) a cheerful (joyous, "prompt to do it") giver [whose heart is in his giving]." 2 Corinthians 9:7 (AMP)

Dare To Do Good!

I used to think I was a "self-made man." I prided myself on having been "on my own" since the age of 18. I put myself through college. I worked hard. I earned the promotions and the sales. Me, me, me! What a crock!!

I recently came across a letter written to me by a married couple I knew while I was at Texas A&M. I have held on to it for almost 30 years. It was a letter of encouragement. It also was given to me on the day they, out of nothing but the goodness of their hearts, bought the diamond that went into my Aggie Ring. This was a big deal. I was putting myself through college and funds were extremely tight. I was very blessed that I could even afford to buy the ring. But one of the traditions for a lot of Aggies is to put a diamond in the shield of the ring. I barely bought the ring and there was no way I could purchase the diamond. This kind couple said they wanted to do something nice for me and asked permission to purchase my diamond for me. Wow! As I read the words in that letter, all these years later, tears welled up in my eyes as I recalled how moved I was back then by their generosity and how much that meant to a 21 year-old kid just beginning his career.

It got me thinking of all the people who had helped me along the way to become the person I am today. Teachers going above and beyond what they were paid to do, coaches providing lessons both on and off the field, employers giving opportunities of which I was unqualified (but accepted anyway), friends, family members and even complete strangers encouraging me, and, above all, the Creator of the universe providing me a plan for my life bigger than I could have ever imagined on my own.

So here's our challenge this Monday, October 21st, 2013; recognize those who made a difference in our lives. Remember the impact they had, and in the my case, continue to have to this day. Then, take action to seek out those we can help. It may not be the purchase of a diamond for a school ring but it can be wisdom shared we've gathered over the years, a helping hand for someone who can't accomplish a certain task, or simply a smile and a nod at the grocery store. We have no idea what people are going through today. It's amazing what a small, random act of kindness can do for someone in need.

One of the most impactful books I read in college was, "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand. She had another book entitled, "The Virtue of Selfishness." For too long, I bought into that philosophy. Can I blow that out of the water right now? Virtue is not in selfishness but in selflessness! It's time we take the focus off of our selves and start doing the things that matter most and those things are what matter most to others.

Imagine doing something so profound for one person, just one, that in thirty years, they'd be sharing what you did for them with everyone they come in contact with (or in a blog, perhaps). That's what life is all about. So, go out today, do good and make an impact! I dare you!!

"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves." James 1:22

Are You Flying High?

Last week, I had the best flight of my life! American Airlines flight 2466 from Dallas-Ft. Worth to Indianapolis was incredible! By that, do I mean we took off on time, avoided turbulence, landed on time and everything went perfectly? Absolutely not! In fact, part of the reason this was the best flight EVER is in spite of, not the absence of, a major issue. One of the most bizarre I have ever witnessed before. And I believe there are a few lessons to be learned from this experience.

Prior to boarding, I was given the bad news that I would not be upgraded to First Class (darn all those Platinum-level frequent fliers!). So I boarded and sat in my assigned seat of 9D. Once the plane was almost ready to pull back, I noticed  the flight attendant kneeling down engaging in a conversation with the passenger in the last row of First Class, seat 6B. I then noticed the gate agent board the flight and join in the conversation with the flight attendant and the passenger. The gate agent then approached me and informed me that the lady in 6B was in the wrong seat and I would be moving up to First Class once she moved backed to 8A (YIPEE!). As the passenger got up and stepped backward to let me pass by her to take my "rightful place" in 6B, she said, "Fine, take that seat. I just had $4,000 stolen in the Admiral's Club along with the blanket that comforted my mother as she passed away!" And then she began to weep.

Without thinking, I replied, "Oh my, you know what? You've had much worse day than me, you go ahead and stay in First Class." Through her tears, she refused and then started accusing the gate agent of treating her rudely and disrespectfully. I tried one more time to let her keep the First Class seat but she declined. As I settled in, I could hear her continuing to talk. Her cries turned into ramblings about the seat, the theft, the rude gate agent, her mother's death, and much, much more. She grew louder and more emotional, becoming quite disruptive not only for the people sitting next to her but the entire front half of the plane.

As we pulled away from the gate, we heard over the intercom, "This is Captain Willie. Folks, I've been flying for 28 years and I've gotta tell you, of all nights ever to fly, you've picked, perhaps, the perfect night! We'll have you in Indianapolis in no time and we promise to take great care of you until we arrive!"

Shortly after that announcement, we sat 100 yards from the gate for 15 minutes. Then, we pulled back up to the gate because of a "mechanical problem." A few more minutes later and Captain Willie explained that they had to hook up to a certain machine to get the A/C working in the plane as the repair work continued and, as we waited, they would be opening the main door. A few minutes after that, the upset (and upsetting), former First Class passenger was exiting the plane. It turned out, Captain Willie had contacted the Admiral's Club regarding her claims and they were false. Her mentally unstable emotional outbursts were apparently the result of mixing Xanax and alcohol in the Admiral's Club.

Captain Willie and the flight attendants handled not only the situation, but the entire flight, with professionalism, grace, and humor. During the flight, Captain Willie  came on to recognize a "special passenger," Rebecca, who was celebrating her 22nd birthday. He had us all yell, "Happy Birthday, Rebecca!" and then had the flight attendants award her a bottle of champagne. After we landed, during taxi to the gate, he invited Rebecca to the the front of the plane to sit in the flight attendant's jump seat so she could be the first one off the plane.

What a great flight!

As I thought about this sequence of events, I realized there were lessons to be learned as we all try to fly higher in our own lives:

Lesson #1: Don't be afraid to set high expectations! Better to aim too high and miss than aim too low and hit! When Captain Willie made his first announcement, he wanted us to know we should expect a great flight.

Lesson #2: Along the way, there will be obstacles and distractions. Better to take them head on and deal with them. Once eliminated, the obstacle is no longer an obstacle and the distraction cannot distract. You are then able to move forward. Had the disruptive passenger been allowed to stay, I can assure you, no one would have enjoyed that flight.

Lesson #3: Once overcome, don't dwell on, or give power to, the obstacle any longer. Turn your attention and focus on something positive. Rebecca, the birthday girl, served that purpose for Captain Willie and crew with us, their passengers.

Final Lesson: Throughout the process; from expectation setting to dealing with distractions to the new focus, remain positive at all times! A positive mindset provides all parties involved with a better experience and outcome. The interactions we all shared with the good-natured, fun crew enhanced the experience of the flight tremendously between take off and touch down.

It was only after we landed and I reflected on why this was such a great flight that I realized the very thoughtful process Captain Willie and his exceptional crew went through to ensure our positive experience Absent the process, this could have been a very bad flight.

Review the lessons learned. See if there isn't some applicability to situations you're facing today and see if applying this process doesn't help you "fly higher!"

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]" - John 16:33 (AMP)

Face Your Fear!

It took all the strength and determination I could muster. I had never felt such paralyzing fear in my life. With each step toward the door, my feet felt heavier and heavier, my breathing became labored, and I began to sweat profusely. I knew I had to do this so, with one last deep breath, I pushed the door open and heard, "Hi, welcome to Toastmasters! What brings you here?"

My fear of public speaking goes back as far as I can remember. Oral reports in high school were always panic-inducing. In college, I waited until my last semester to take the required public speaking class (I actually considered not getting my degree because of it). I watched, in horror, the first day of initial speeches as one of my classmates walked up to the front of the room, turned around to face his audience, and passed out, hitting the back of his head on the blackboard on his way down. It confirmed what I already knew; public speaking can kill you!

After college, I eventually ended up in sales where I had to give a lot of presentations. The night before each one, I would not sleep. The anxiety was almost debilitating. After years of struggling to overcome this, I finally decided it was time to take it head on. I walked into that first Toastmaster's meeting thinking this may be my first and last (either not going back or actually dying if called on to speak). I survived. And over the years enjoyed the meetings, the friendships, and, eventually, actually speaking. I went on to compete and win several competitions. I now look forward to my sales presentations. I have even joined the National Speaker's Association and look for opportunities to speak anywhere I can. Talk about a transformation!!

What I learned through the process of overcoming my complete and utter fear of public speaking was you have to face your fear and not continue running from it. It's the only way growth can occur.

We all have fears that exert various levels of control over our lives. I know people who don't like large crowds. It cripples them just to have more than a handful of strangers around them at one time. I've seen how limiting a fear like that can be in a persons life. I know others who are afraid to step out and take a risk for fear of failure. Because of it, they stay in a perpetual state of mediocrity and stagnation. Almost more insidious than the fear of failure is the fear of success. Individuals afraid that if they achieve too much it will change them negatively or will only prove how unworthy they are for actually succeeding. So they self-sabotage, ensuring they never achieve near what they are capable of.

Today, let's identify a few of the fears that are limiting our success in life. Once identified, face that fear and take actions to eliminate if from our lives. Toastmasters was huge in helping me to "desensitize" and realize not only would speaking in public not kill me, I could actually enjoy it. That's the amazing thing about this process; after identification, confrontation, and action, not only will the fear disappear, but you will probably uncover strengths you didn't even know you had. As a Christian, I know there is an enemy that has come to "kill, steal, and destroy" us and our dreams. I am convinced this enemy attacks at our greatest gifts and talents because he knows that is where we will have the greatest impact in this world. His favorite weapon is fear. I like to say:

Face your fear and you just may find your future!

Go for it today and don't let fear hold you back ever again!!

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." - 2 Timothy 1:7

Discipline Is Not A Dirty Word!

During a recent visit to the mall, my wife and I observed an alarming pattern while we were attempting to enjoy our Chinese meal:: Children allowed to run around, with little to no supervision, and, basically, do whatever they want to do. We found ourselves getting rather annoyed. Not with the kids, but with the adults. We saw example after example of parents attempting, albeit extremely weakly, to rein in their rabble-rouser(s) with what were, obviously, idle threats.

"THIS IS NOT A PLAYGROUND! STOP PLAYING TAG IN BETWEEN PEOPLES' TABLES!!"

"GET OUT FROM UNDER THAT TABLE! YOU'RE BEING A NUISANCE! OH, WHEN WE GET HOME, YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT!!"

"WHY WOULD YOU DUMP YOUR DRINK ALL OVER THE FLOOR?!?! IF WE DIDN'T HAVE TO GET GOING, I'D MAKE YOU CLEAN IT UP YOURSELF!!"

We walked away that day asking, "Where has the discipline gone?"

I heard a sermon some time ago that dealt with the issue of "spare the rod, spoil the child." Proverbs 13:24 says, "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them." What I loved about this particular sermon was the Pastor's contextual perspective of the Scripture. Think of the "rod" not as a switch to beat with but as a shepherd's staff. A good shepherd would never beat his sheep but he would use the staff (rod) to guide them where he wanted them to go. I thought it was a beautiful illustration and one we used on our daughter as she was growing up (and, quite honestly, even now as a 20 year-old college Junior). While there were no spankings in our home, there was a lot of "guiding" and she grew up with a complete understanding and correlation between her actions and the consequences of those actions. I am saying (and I think she would concur), there was a lot of discipline in our home.

It is my firm belief that "discipline begets discipline." By that I mean, if more parents were to raise their children with a full understanding and consistent application of discipline, the children of those parents would then be better equipped to succeed in life. They will know that their actions today affect their lives tomorrow. We seem to be lacking that today.

In Malcolm Gladwell's brilliant book, "Outliers," he highlights the "10,000-Hour Rule." A couple of examples he gives are Bill Gates and The Beatles; individuals who achieve meteoric success only through consistent, disciplined effort (10,000 hours worth). Parents who teach their children discipline are increasing the likelihood of them succeeding exponentially. There is no magic formula, no 5 easy steps to success in life. You can't just show up for work and expect a promotion in 3 months. Discipline takes time and effort but it's rewards are worth it!

Disciplined people take a long-term view of life. The followers of Jesus were called Disciples (Disciplined Ones). There is tremendous payoff to this approach. Today, take a look at the various areas of your life. See if there aren't some places where more discipline may be of benefit. You may be very disciplined at work and get the job done but what about physically? Do you consistently hit the gym or the road in order to be the best you you can be? Are you a super-achiever but maybe lack the discipline to every so often say, "no," to a request of your time so you can read, study, or just be alone with your thoughts? Are you a loyal, faithful follower of your favorite sports team but there never seems to be enough time in the day to do things with your family?

Discipline is not a dirty word! It's an asset we all possess. It's just a matter of application. And if you're a parent with small children, try applying some consistent, loving discipline to them and watch the positive impacts it has. Those of us trying to enjoy our Chinese lunch at the mall will thank you!

And He said to them, Come after Me [as disciples---letting Me be your Guide], follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men! - Matthew 4:19 (AMP)

What's In Your Future?

Syria, terrorism, government shutdown, mass shootings, massive debt, and on and on.... There's so much negativity in the news today that makes one wonder what the future holds. If you're not careful, it can even create worry and anxiety. It's really easy to get caught up in the "macro" events occurring and lose focus on the "micro" choices we make that actually have the greatest impact.

Last November, in the fourth quarter of the sales year, I was in California on a business/personal trip. I was waiting for final confirmation from my number 1 prospect that they were ready to sign the contract. This would be the deal that put me over my quota and guarantee a trip to the Virgin Islands. When I got the text message it was not what was expected. In the 11th hour, the "powers that be" decided not to move forward with my company but, instead, go with the incumbent vendor. I looked at my wife and said, "Oh no!" It looked like the year was over and I would not make my number. I gave myself 30 seconds to mourn the loss. Too often, we spend too much time wallowing in self-pity and asking questions like, "Why did this happen to me? Why now?" At that moment, I knew I had a choice to make and I chose to focus on doing what I had to to bring in the business needed to get me to my number. On December 28th, I was able to secure a contract that put me over my number and was actually larger than the deal lost on November 7th. I learned that by focusing on what I could control and not on what had happened or the circumstances as they appeared on that November morning, I was able to accomplish my goal.

What is your attitude toward your future? Do you think things are out of control and headed in a downward spiral? Are there so many uncertainties in your life that they keep you up at night? Mortgages, relationships, career/job security (or lack thereof) all can contribute to an uneasiness about tomorrow.

I heard Zig Ziglar ask his audience a question a few years ago, "Are there things you could do today, tomorrow, and over the next two weeks that could negatively affect your life?" Then he asked a follow up question, "Are there things you could do today, tomorrow, and over the next two weeks that could positively affect your life?" The point is, we are in much more control of our future than we sometimes realize.

Your future should be giving you hope, not helplessness. It should be bright, not burdensome. Because of the choices you make today, your future is incredible!! I like what Tim Tebow said when asked about his future:

“I don't know what my future holds, but I do know who holds my future.”

Today, know that you and your choices are what will ultimately affect your future.

If your facing challenges or difficult times, choose the response that is going to be the most effective in mitigating the negative and positioning the positive outcome.

If you're in a great place right now and feel that your future is bright, seek out people you can help and provide encouragement to. You and your positive outlook could be the difference in someone's future.

Finally, realize the power and control you have over your future. Don't give that away. Use it to your advantage and watch the incredible life you deserve unfold before your eyes!

"I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;" - Deuteronomy 30:19 (NKJV)

What Do You Expect?

A lot has been written recently about happiness and optimism. As an optimist, I find this interesting. Having just finished Shawn Achor's book, "The Happiness Advantage," I was happy (no pun intended) to see all the scientific evidence supporting the belief that having a positive outlook on life actually impacts overall success.

Merriam-Webster defines optimism this way:

op·ti·mism noun \ˈäp-tə-ˌmi-zəm\ - an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome

On a webinar last week with Shawn Achor, I heard him define optimism this way: The belief that your behavior matters. 

Whether you are naturally optimistic or not, one area of your life you can control and change immediately, is your attitude of expectation. One of my core beliefs that I have experienced and observed in life is this:

Your level of success in anything you do will rise to the level of your expectation 

Because of this, I have to ask, "What do you expect?" When going on that interview, what do you expect? Applying for that mortgage, what do you expect? Being considered for that promotion, what do you expect? Walking into that college exam, what do you expect?

As you analyze and evaluate your "self-talk" during times of an uncertain outcome, see what words you're using and what your expectation is. As you consciously choose to believe for positive outcomes based upon your attitude of expectation, your life will immediately begin to change.

I first heard the term "inverse paranoid" when listening to an old Earl Nightingale personal development recording. I came across it again when reading Jack Canfield's "The Success Principles" (Become an Inverse Paranoid is Success Principle #6). The definition of an inverse paranoid is, "Today the world is plotting to do me good. I can’t wait to see what’s next!” By adopting an attitude of expectation like that, good things will begin to happen.

My expectation level dramatically increased once I learned just how interested God was in my success. I used to think you only went to Him when you were in trouble or needed something that looked impossible. Once I got a revelation that His Grace is Unmerited Favor and that His plans for me are good, I began to expect good things all the time. This expectation allows me to see good things even in bad or difficult times. Just as John C. Maxwell's new book suggests, "Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn."

Go out to today with a heightened expectation level in everything you do. Become an Inverse Paranoid expecting everything to be working for your good. And, finally, know that God's plans for you are good and look for the positive, the lessons, and the upside in every situation you face.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" - Jeremiah 29:11

Excellence Will Excel You!

"So, Craig, what do you do for a living?"

With that single question, asked a number of years ago, I was given the opportunity to share my philosophy with a new acquaintance.

"Well, I guess I'd have to say, I do as little as possible for as much as possible."

While somewhat humorous, it was not far from the truth and my reality at the time. What was really funny was her response.

"Oh, I'm in sales too!"

As I think back to that discussion almost a decade ago, I have to shake my head. I wasn't raised that way and I certainly didn't work like that...all the time. I had "glimpses of greatness" where I would shine but then, almost subconsciously, I would put it in neutral and coast for awhile. Then, when I would need to, I'd put my foot on the accelerator and do well again. This constant accelerate, coast, accelerate, coast activity had ingrained itself in me up to the day I had that interaction with my new acquaintance.

When I thought about my mindset a few days later, I became increasingly disgusted by it. Soon after that, I heard a pastor preach on having a "Spirit of Excellence" and everything changed. I found mentors who lived and taught on excellence, I read books on living an excellent life (if you don't have one, the Bible is an excellent place to start), and I began practicing excellence in everything I did.

Five years ago, I heard a presenter at a Toastmaster's event ask the audience a question. "What do you think the number one thing is that keeps people from achieving their dreams?" He got the expected answers of fear, procrastination, doubt, etc. He said those are all good answers but wrong. The number one thing that keeps people from achieving their dreams is "being good enough." Then he asked THE question. "Are you too good to be great?" Hmm...

Vince Lombardi, arguably the greatest coach and motivator of all time, said:

"The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor."

For the last ten years, my Wife and I have chosen an attitude of excellence in every area of our lives and we hold each other accountable to it. It has paid off. One recent illustration of that: We've been in a rental house for two years as we've been deciding whether to buy or build a home. We decided to build. However, the way the timing would work out, we were going to have renew our lease for less than the full year and put the landlord in a tough spot. They'd be trying to rent the house out in January (not the best time to find new renters). After considering our request, the landlord called and said, "I know this doesn't make sense for us, Craig, but we'll agree to the partial year lease extension. You and Wendy have taken such good care of the house and yard, we want to pay it forward." Our attitude of excellence toward our rental house saved us the time, money, and aggravation of a double move before our new home was built.

This week, commit yourself to not settling for "good enough" and strive for excellence in all you do. Become known as the person who goes above and beyond to do it the best. If you'll commit yourself to choosing an attitude of excellence, you will find that excellence really will excel you!

"His master said to him, Well done, you upright (honorable, admirable) and faithful servant! You have been faithful and trustworthy over a little; I will put you in charge of much. Enter into and share the joy (the delight, the blessedness) which your master enjoys." - Matthew 25:21 (AMP)

"And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ." - Colossians 3:23&24 (NKJV)

Labor Day, 2013

I've been working the vast majority of my life. Growing up on a farm in northern Minnesota taught me a lot of things and one of the most valuable lessons was developing a strong work ethic.

There were early mornings of feeding and milking cows with my Dad and Uncle on the family farm before school. The long summer days of picking rocks, baling hay, combining, and plowing were just a few of the activities my parents used to teach me about the pride that comes with a hard days' work. I've worked as a janitor, retail associate, lawn mower, trainer, and even an interviewer at the county jail for personal recognizance bonds (stories from those days are for another blog). After college, I've had the pleasure of working for companies that range from start-ups to the Fortune 500. The one thing that has paid dividends throughout my career is the willingness to work hard at whatever I was doing.

The last few years have been difficult for America. We've seen unemployment remain high and new job creation stubbornly low. If you read the newspaper or watch the news on TV, you can get pretty depressed pretty quickly.

I know what it feels like to face bills that are due when there is no income. When my Wife and I were first starting our lives together and our daughter was one year-old, I lost my job. It could have been devastating. And when the recession hit the company I was working for in 2008, I was caught up in a "reduction-in-force" a week before Christmas.

It's in challenging times like these that your core beliefs are tested. Remembering promises like that found in Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'" help keep things in proper perspective. Through difficult and good times, there are some things that remain constant:

America is still the land of opportunity. God has blessed this nation and dreams still come true here. Even if circumstances look bleak, know better times are coming. You are only limited by your own thinking. Let your creativity soar and see where it takes you. The answer to your situation may be way outside conventional thinking.

Never underestimate your network. The old adage, "It's not what you know but who you know" is alive and well. Today, we have the benefit of social networking sites like Linkedin and Facebook to assist us in our efforts. And remember your network is made stronger by giving and taking. Sometimes you may need what your network offers. Other times, your network will need what you have to offer. Never hesitate to help others.

Finally, never lose Faith! There is a reason you're going through what you are. Look for the lessons to be learned and let the growth begin. Never compromise your character and integrity, no matter how tempting that may be. In extremely challenging times, God allowed me to learn more about myself and what I'm capable of much more than when times are good.

Happy Labor Day! Be thankful for the opportunities we have as citizens of this great nation, continue building your network and help others that may need your assistance, and never lose Faith that your best days are ahead of you!

"You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours." Psalm 128:2

  "For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: 'The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.'” - 2 Thessalonians 3:10

Impact of Associations

I've been on a lot of teams in my life; sports teams, sales teams, fundraising teams, etc. With these teams, I've enjoyed the incredible highs of winning, the pain of losing, and everything in between. I've been in relationships and had friendships with all kinds of different people. Like you, I have varying levels and degrees of friendships and acquaintances. Over the last few years, I've become much more aware of the impact those people around me can have on my journey toward the fulfillment of my goals.

One of my mentors, Jim Rohn, used to say, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." When I heard that the first time, I had to stop and re-evaluate who I chose to spend my time engaging with and being influenced by. As with most things in life, we have all the power. We have the power to choose. We choose who we associate with and how much influence they have.

I've been a part of teams that far exceeded anyone's expectations simply because each team member elevated the others by their positivity and never-say-die attitude. Conversely, I have seen the "one bad apple" syndrome and experienced first-hand, what a little negativity from just one person can do to an entire group.

A few years ago, I joined a software company in Houston known for it's positive culture. I was coming from a company that was lacking in customer satisfaction along with a reputation for poor employee morale. I was happy to make the move and, during one of the first sales team meetings at my new employer, the Director of Sales, Bill, entered the room. He was smiling. He was energetic. And his only comment during our meeting blew me away. He said, "As you work with your prospective clients, you let me know what you need and I'll make it happen. Your success is my number one priority and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you win!" WOW! Did that have an impact on me and our team. We went on to blow away our numbers and I learned just how powerful a positive association can be to overall success.

Personally, I've had close relationships with both types of people, negative and positive. The negative created an environment where, at the end of a long day, I sat in my vehicle in my driveway and didn't want to enter my own home. The positive provides me with what Zig Ziglar called, "home court advantage." This relationship is the most important and cherished I have. I know with this person in my life, there's nothing I can't achieve. What a difference a relationship makes!

Today, as you evaluate those who are closest to you and the impact they are having on your life, remember that you are the final authority on who has what influence on you. With each conversation, determine if that person is someone you should be spending more or less time with. Life is too short and there's too much to do to allow the "Debbie Downers" we all come in contact with to exert too much control and influence in our lives. Toxic people take too much time and energy. They will rob you of the energy you need to achieve your goals.

Make sure you're hanging out with people who are going to lift you up and not bring you down. If you'll make a conscious effort, this week, to do that, I guarantee you'll see a dramatic upturn in your outlook and progress toward the achievement of your goals!

"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers [do not make mismated alliances with them or come under a different yoke with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership have right living and right standing with God with iniquity and lawlessness? Or how can light have fellowship with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14 (AMP)

Overcoming Every Adversity

When I was 18 years old, my 39 year-old Mom had a brain aneurysm and died. Overnight, my whole world changed. Not only was she my Mom, she was my most enthusiastic encourager and the person I always wanted to please. Her death was, and still is, the greatest adversity I've ever faced.

With the passing of time, and facing other obstacles in life (none of which comes close to that traumatic event in 1983), I have come to realize the truth in a number of philosophical beliefs and quotes regarding adversity. Quotes like:

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Friedrich Nietzsche

"Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, for wise men say it is the wisest course." William Shakespeare

"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache, carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." Napoleon Hill

"Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records." William Arthur Ward

I've faced the death of my Mom and other loved ones. I've lost jobs and deals as a salesman. I, like you, have stood at the base of a seemingly insurmountable mountain and begun the step-by-step process of climbing. It's never easy. Rarely is it enjoyable. However, there's no feeling like reaching the summit!

Today, I want to encourage you. If you're in the middle of a battle and the adversary seems too big, too strong, DON'T GIVE UP!! There is nothing you can't overcome!

Consider three things when facing any adversity:

1. Time is on your side. You must continue, regardless the circumstances. In the words of Winston Churchill, "Never, never, never give up!" You will want to quit. The voices in your head will be screaming at you and your well-intentioned friends will be advising you to give up. Don't you dare! "Joy comes in the morning!" Psalm 30:5
2. On the other side of this challenge, you're going to be better. You're going to realize you're stronger than you thought you were and you will be more able and willing to take on other challenges because of this new-found confidence! You truly are an overcomer! Jim Rohn used to say, "Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better." After Mom died, I made a bold move and spent the summer in the Hill Country of Texas. I'd never spent that much time away from home. I came back to northern Minnesota to start college at a small university. With the friends I'd made in Texas, the opportunity was presented to move down and finish up at Texas A&M University. I did it. With the move to Texas, I've had a great career, met my incredible wife and have a daughter who is the most important person to both of us. None of this would have happened if I had not overcome the adversity of Mom's death and learned just how strong the human spirit is.
3. And, finally, realize the power you possess in how you choose to respond to the adversity. Don't simply react, that's too easy and emotional. Choose your response and instead of the adversity controlling you, you will control it. The first morning I woke up as a motherless young man, I laid in bed and realized I had a choice to make. I could be depressed and angry at these circumstances or I could choose a different path. That morning, I chose to ask myself, "What would Mom want me to do?" That choice gave me the clarity and courage to get up and go on.

Stick it out, know you're going to be better and stronger if you do, and choose to take control of the adversity by choosing your response to it! Do these things and I promise you you'll be able to overcome every adversity!

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]"                                          - John 16:33 (AMP)

Attitude Toward The Past

My Wife and I were driving back to Dallas this weekend after visiting our Daughter at college. On the radio, the DJ said she saw a quote on Pinterest she had to share. It said:

"If your past calls, don't answer. It has nothing new to say."

I couldn't agree more! So many people choose various ways to deal with their past.

There are those who live in the past because they feel their best days are behind them. They relive the same victories over and over as if they just happened today. How sad to focus on their "Glory Days" as Bruce Springsteen called them. We all have victories and great memories from high school or college. It's good to remember good times but, for some, it can be all-consuming and they are unable to enjoy the present because, in their minds, it can never live up to the "good old days."

Then there are those haunted by their past. Disappointments, failures, traumatic events that keep them from being able to enjoy their present and have a hope for the future. Zig Ziglar gave us this great quote:

"Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand new day and it's yours."

I believe the most powerful approach to take regarding the past is to let it be a teacher. Whether great victories or terrible defeats, the most important step to take is to learn from everything that has happened and apply the lessons learned to today.

It's amazing how much we can learn from past experiences. By applying what we've learned, we become more enabled and exponentially increase our likelihood of success today!

Don't live in the past! Use your previous successes to propel you further today.

Don't let your past keep you from achieving all you can today! The past is not an anchor, it's a teacher. Properly applied, with the correct amount of importance, your past mistakes and disappointments can be tremendously helpful.

You must develop the proper attitude toward the past!

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28

 

Aspiration: The Key to Never Settling

"Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars!"

I must have heard Casey Kasem say those words over 500 times as a teenager listening to his American Top 40 radio show. I enjoyed knowing what songs had climbed and fallen on the charts the following week, the long distance dedications, the interesting facts behind a song or group Casey would share, but it was those words that had the greatest impact on me. Growing up in northern Minnesota, there weren't many people providing such sound advice.

Very early in life, I learned the importance of aspiration. I have seen the dramatic positive outcomes for those who continually pushed themselves and never accepted where they were as where they would stay. Conversely, I have seen a lot of people get stuck settling. Maybe not happy where they were but too scared to step out of their comfort zone and see what else they may be able to accomplish.

Last week, I talked about the power of an attitude of gratitude. Here is how I know gratitude and aspiration can and, quite honestly, must work together. You must be grateful for everything you have and achieved AS you pursue what you want. Aspiration without gratitude leads to obsession and that's not healthy.

When I heard Casey Kasem repeat those words week after week as I was growing up on a farm, living in a trailer house with what would seem from the outside to be very little to be grateful for, aspiration took root. I "saw" myself going to college and living in a big city. I "saw" myself making a good living, having a great family, and traveling a lot. The key to aspiration is once a goal is achieved, another bigger, better goal must be set. Always be pushing yourself. It's when we settle where we are that causes us to miss out on living up to our full potential.

On this aspiration road, are there bumps? Of course there are. However, the greatest asset aspiration affords you is a "big picture view" of what you want to accomplish. When you have this view, it will minimize and trivialize the setbacks and temporary failures.

This week, do a little soul-searching to see if maybe you've settled in some areas of your life. Once identified, start the process of aspiration again. You must "see" before you believe and believe before you achieve. And remember what Michelangelo said:

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

Don't aim to low and hit! Better to aim too high and miss! But the real key to success through an attitude of aspiration is to never stop setting, and pursuing, higher and higher targets.

"I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward." Philippians 3:13 & 14 (AMP)

The Foundation: An Attitude of Gratitude

Are you a morning person? By that, I mean do you wake up ready to take on the day? If not, why not?

My Wife recently made an observation; she said that after 21 years of marriage, she is still surprised at how I am able to wake up and immediately be wide awake. She asked, "How can you be awake so quickly and ready to attack the day?" I thought about it for a minute, searching the "why" and "how." I responded with what I felt was a pretty simple answer. I said, "It's really easy to hit the ground running when the first two words you think of when you wake up are, 'thank you!'"

I've done a lot of study around personal development. I've read most of the books and studied a lot of "successful" people. It's my firm belief that to have true success in life, it all starts with an attitude of gratitude.

Every one of us have things in our lives to be thankful for. If we will just turn our focus to those things and stop wasting time on bitterness, regret, disappointments, and failures, our lives will be richer and our days fuller. Studies also show, grateful people are happier and healthier!

My Wife and I learned this gratitude lesson a number of years ago. We call it "counting your stones." It comes from the Old Testament story of Joshua. As the Israelites were finally going to advance into the promised land, God parted the waters of the Jordan River. As they crossed, He instructed Joshua to choose 12 men, one from each tribe, to carry a stone from the riverbed to the other side of the river. Joshua stacked the 12 stones as a memorial to what God had done for them.

When facing a difficulty, obstacle or even just having a "down day," my Wife and I remember back to other times when we overcame equally or even more difficult times and we are instantly lifted up. That's "counting your stones!" It is amazing how effective and powerful this exercise can be. If you never stop being grateful for the good things that have happened in your life, you'll continually be astounded at what you will be able to conquer and add to your stack of stones.

This week, see if every morning before your feet hit the ground, you can't think of 3 things you are thankful for. And when facing a difficult situation where victory seems impossible and doubt and discouragement start rising up within you, start counting your stones and turn that situation around!

The foundation of success is choosing an attitude of gratitude!!

He said to the Israelites, “In the future when your descendants ask their parents, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ For the Lord your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The Lord your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God.” Joshua 4:21-24 (NIV)

Reciprocity Redefined

Have you heard the expression, "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours?" Well, if you have, you know the fundamental and traditional definition of a reciprocal relationship. "I'll do something for you if you'll do something for me."

 I was taught this concept at a very early age and it continued throughout my life, especially in my sales and negotiation training; "Don't give anything unless you get something in return!"

I want to posit a new definition of reciprocity. I'm a little leery of calling it "new" because what I'm proposing has actually been around for thousands of years. This "new/old" concept of reciprocity goes something like this:

Give without expecting anything in return but knowing that a return is coming

In Biblical terms, this is called the Law of Sowing and Reaping. In agrarian times, a farmer would have been considered crazy if he planted (sowed) wheat and expected a corn harvest (reaping). We can always expect to harvest what we have previously planted.

The underlying concept here is "give to give" not "give to get." However, as mentioned above, there is a knowing that goes along with your giving. Consider the giving to be like the seed planted by the farmer. While it would be silly to expect corn when wheat has been planted, it is common sense to expect, or know, that if you plant wheat, you can expect to harvest wheat. That's the knowing part of this type of reciprocity. To get more time, give (or plant) more time to others. If you're desiring more deep friendships in your life, then be a friend to someone else. If finances are a concern, seek charitable organizations who share your beliefs and start sowing (small initially, perhaps) financially into them. Sow first, reap later.

The interesting aspect of this type of giving is that your reaping may come from a completely different area than where you have sown. That's why it's a redefined reciprocity. Your return on your giving probably will come from a completely different source than where you initially sowed. The key is to do the planting with a giver's heart. Don't expect to get something in return.

Throughout my life, I have seen this "new/old" form of reciprocity work, both negatively as well as positively. I have known people very close to me who were unwilling to grasp this concept and, whether it was time or money, through their unwillingness to give without some conditions to get, they found themselves with no time for the more important things in their lives and no money to do what they really wanted to do. Conversely, I, personally, have seen how much better I can live on 90 cents out of every dollar earned if I'm willing to give away the first 10%.

My challenge to you today is this: See if, over the next 30 days, this redefined reciprocity doesn't have a positive effect on your life relationally, financially, spiritually, emotionally, and as it pertains to time. Give to give, not to get, and see what happens!

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously." 2 Corinthians 9:6 (NIV)

"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it." Malachi 3:10 (NIV)

Choosing An Attitude of Resiliency

Do you have an attitude of resiliency? Do you have "bouncebackability?" These may be a couple of the most important questions you can ask yourself. Why? Because to truly be happy, successful, satisfied, etc. we all have to be able to bounce back from adversity. That's exactly what resilience will do for you!

One of Merriam-Webster's definitions for resilience is:

"An ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change."

We've all faced difficult and challenging times in our lives. Looking back, how would you rate your "ability to recover from or adjust easily" to those difficulties? Whether you consider yourself to be very resilient or tend to find yourself lower on the scale, the good news is you can consciously improve your ability to be resilient.

I'd like to offer up 3 ways to improve your resiliency:

1. Utilize your "Power to Choose" how you will respond to obstacles or difficulties that come your way. By consciously considering your response, you effectively negate any power that situation has over you and will make it much easier to deal with and bounce back from. Mark Twain famously observed, "I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened." By choosing your response to situations, you are much more likely to determine the actuality of it transpiring and level of effort you will need to overcome whatever the situation is. Rarely are the challenges in our lives as dire as we initially believe them to be.
2. Take actions that push you outside of your comfort zone. Because an attitude of resiliency is also an ability, this ability can be improved. The most recent Scientific American Mind put it this way, "Virtually anyone can become more resilient through disciplined, consistent practice." You will find as you exercise your stress muscles, you'll be able to better deal with stressful situations.
3. Associate with, and study, people who have been able to bounce back from difficult challenges in their lives. They can offer up tremendous support, advice, and provide a great model to assist you as you develop your attitude of resiliency.

Resiliency is one of the seven attitudes I believe to be necessary to truly achieving all we were created to achieve. Check out the lives of people like Joseph, Job, David, and Paul from the Bible if you don't have anyone you can look to as an example of living a resilient life!

"Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him." Job 13:15 (NKJV)

The Power of Choice

I think it's quite appropriate for a weekly blog titled, "Observations of an Optimist" to be published on Monday mornings. What other day of the week, other than Monday, would a person need some uplifting words of encouragement? I just validated on webMD.com that people are at their highest risk for heart attacks on Monday morning. How sad!!

I concluded my post last week with two questions:
     1) Do you take 100% responsibility for your life? And
     2) Is the life you're choosing to live today a positive or negative life and why?

I truly believe, now more than any other time in human history, we have more control and, thus, responsibility for our lives, success or failure, our happiness or dissatisfaction. I also believe this control and responsibility crosses all cultural, ethnic, color, gender, etc. borders. And yet, we still have what I refer to as a "victim mentality" permeating this great country.

Years ago, I read Stephen Covey's, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People." I thought it was a really good book but, aside from the 7 Habits, there was mention of Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, that really changed my life. It was at the beginning of the book when Mr. Covey introduced me to what Dr. Frankl called, "the power to choose." I won't go into detail here but, on this Monday morning as you enter the high-risk period for heart attack, I want you to remember the following:

Stimulus -> Choice -> Response

There is absolute power just after any stimulus in your life just before you respond to that stimulus. In that fleeting second is your Power to Choose. If you are willing to take control of that choice, you take control of your entire life. I can look back on my life, during various stimuli i.e. my Mother's death when I was 18 years old, dealing with a horrible Manager, winning the biggest deal of my career, etc. that I can see the degree of control I possessed dependent upon my choice of how I responded to the specific situation.

Know that today you have that power! No more will be a "victim of circumstance." Your power to choose has been there all along. Whether you've done an excellent job controlling your response or this is an entirely new concept, I hope you will even more positively and effectively take control over your life and, especially, your Monday mornings!

"I call heaven and earth to witness this day against you that I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live" Deuteronomy 30:19