Reciprocity Redefined

Have you heard the expression, "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours?" Well, if you have, you know the fundamental and traditional definition of a reciprocal relationship. "I'll do something for you if you'll do something for me."

 I was taught this concept at a very early age and it continued throughout my life, especially in my sales and negotiation training; "Don't give anything unless you get something in return!"

I want to posit a new definition of reciprocity. I'm a little leery of calling it "new" because what I'm proposing has actually been around for thousands of years. This "new/old" concept of reciprocity goes something like this:

Give without expecting anything in return but knowing that a return is coming

In Biblical terms, this is called the Law of Sowing and Reaping. In agrarian times, a farmer would have been considered crazy if he planted (sowed) wheat and expected a corn harvest (reaping). We can always expect to harvest what we have previously planted.

The underlying concept here is "give to give" not "give to get." However, as mentioned above, there is a knowing that goes along with your giving. Consider the giving to be like the seed planted by the farmer. While it would be silly to expect corn when wheat has been planted, it is common sense to expect, or know, that if you plant wheat, you can expect to harvest wheat. That's the knowing part of this type of reciprocity. To get more time, give (or plant) more time to others. If you're desiring more deep friendships in your life, then be a friend to someone else. If finances are a concern, seek charitable organizations who share your beliefs and start sowing (small initially, perhaps) financially into them. Sow first, reap later.

The interesting aspect of this type of giving is that your reaping may come from a completely different area than where you have sown. That's why it's a redefined reciprocity. Your return on your giving probably will come from a completely different source than where you initially sowed. The key is to do the planting with a giver's heart. Don't expect to get something in return.

Throughout my life, I have seen this "new/old" form of reciprocity work, both negatively as well as positively. I have known people very close to me who were unwilling to grasp this concept and, whether it was time or money, through their unwillingness to give without some conditions to get, they found themselves with no time for the more important things in their lives and no money to do what they really wanted to do. Conversely, I, personally, have seen how much better I can live on 90 cents out of every dollar earned if I'm willing to give away the first 10%.

My challenge to you today is this: See if, over the next 30 days, this redefined reciprocity doesn't have a positive effect on your life relationally, financially, spiritually, emotionally, and as it pertains to time. Give to give, not to get, and see what happens!

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously." 2 Corinthians 9:6 (NIV)

"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it." Malachi 3:10 (NIV)