Impact of Associations

I've been on a lot of teams in my life; sports teams, sales teams, fundraising teams, etc. With these teams, I've enjoyed the incredible highs of winning, the pain of losing, and everything in between. I've been in relationships and had friendships with all kinds of different people. Like you, I have varying levels and degrees of friendships and acquaintances. Over the last few years, I've become much more aware of the impact those people around me can have on my journey toward the fulfillment of my goals.

One of my mentors, Jim Rohn, used to say, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." When I heard that the first time, I had to stop and re-evaluate who I chose to spend my time engaging with and being influenced by. As with most things in life, we have all the power. We have the power to choose. We choose who we associate with and how much influence they have.

I've been a part of teams that far exceeded anyone's expectations simply because each team member elevated the others by their positivity and never-say-die attitude. Conversely, I have seen the "one bad apple" syndrome and experienced first-hand, what a little negativity from just one person can do to an entire group.

A few years ago, I joined a software company in Houston known for it's positive culture. I was coming from a company that was lacking in customer satisfaction along with a reputation for poor employee morale. I was happy to make the move and, during one of the first sales team meetings at my new employer, the Director of Sales, Bill, entered the room. He was smiling. He was energetic. And his only comment during our meeting blew me away. He said, "As you work with your prospective clients, you let me know what you need and I'll make it happen. Your success is my number one priority and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you win!" WOW! Did that have an impact on me and our team. We went on to blow away our numbers and I learned just how powerful a positive association can be to overall success.

Personally, I've had close relationships with both types of people, negative and positive. The negative created an environment where, at the end of a long day, I sat in my vehicle in my driveway and didn't want to enter my own home. The positive provides me with what Zig Ziglar called, "home court advantage." This relationship is the most important and cherished I have. I know with this person in my life, there's nothing I can't achieve. What a difference a relationship makes!

Today, as you evaluate those who are closest to you and the impact they are having on your life, remember that you are the final authority on who has what influence on you. With each conversation, determine if that person is someone you should be spending more or less time with. Life is too short and there's too much to do to allow the "Debbie Downers" we all come in contact with to exert too much control and influence in our lives. Toxic people take too much time and energy. They will rob you of the energy you need to achieve your goals.

Make sure you're hanging out with people who are going to lift you up and not bring you down. If you'll make a conscious effort, this week, to do that, I guarantee you'll see a dramatic upturn in your outlook and progress toward the achievement of your goals!

"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers [do not make mismated alliances with them or come under a different yoke with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership have right living and right standing with God with iniquity and lawlessness? Or how can light have fellowship with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14 (AMP)

Overcoming Every Adversity

When I was 18 years old, my 39 year-old Mom had a brain aneurysm and died. Overnight, my whole world changed. Not only was she my Mom, she was my most enthusiastic encourager and the person I always wanted to please. Her death was, and still is, the greatest adversity I've ever faced.

With the passing of time, and facing other obstacles in life (none of which comes close to that traumatic event in 1983), I have come to realize the truth in a number of philosophical beliefs and quotes regarding adversity. Quotes like:

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Friedrich Nietzsche

"Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, for wise men say it is the wisest course." William Shakespeare

"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache, carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." Napoleon Hill

"Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records." William Arthur Ward

I've faced the death of my Mom and other loved ones. I've lost jobs and deals as a salesman. I, like you, have stood at the base of a seemingly insurmountable mountain and begun the step-by-step process of climbing. It's never easy. Rarely is it enjoyable. However, there's no feeling like reaching the summit!

Today, I want to encourage you. If you're in the middle of a battle and the adversary seems too big, too strong, DON'T GIVE UP!! There is nothing you can't overcome!

Consider three things when facing any adversity:

1. Time is on your side. You must continue, regardless the circumstances. In the words of Winston Churchill, "Never, never, never give up!" You will want to quit. The voices in your head will be screaming at you and your well-intentioned friends will be advising you to give up. Don't you dare! "Joy comes in the morning!" Psalm 30:5
2. On the other side of this challenge, you're going to be better. You're going to realize you're stronger than you thought you were and you will be more able and willing to take on other challenges because of this new-found confidence! You truly are an overcomer! Jim Rohn used to say, "Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better." After Mom died, I made a bold move and spent the summer in the Hill Country of Texas. I'd never spent that much time away from home. I came back to northern Minnesota to start college at a small university. With the friends I'd made in Texas, the opportunity was presented to move down and finish up at Texas A&M University. I did it. With the move to Texas, I've had a great career, met my incredible wife and have a daughter who is the most important person to both of us. None of this would have happened if I had not overcome the adversity of Mom's death and learned just how strong the human spirit is.
3. And, finally, realize the power you possess in how you choose to respond to the adversity. Don't simply react, that's too easy and emotional. Choose your response and instead of the adversity controlling you, you will control it. The first morning I woke up as a motherless young man, I laid in bed and realized I had a choice to make. I could be depressed and angry at these circumstances or I could choose a different path. That morning, I chose to ask myself, "What would Mom want me to do?" That choice gave me the clarity and courage to get up and go on.

Stick it out, know you're going to be better and stronger if you do, and choose to take control of the adversity by choosing your response to it! Do these things and I promise you you'll be able to overcome every adversity!

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]"                                          - John 16:33 (AMP)

Attitude Toward The Past

My Wife and I were driving back to Dallas this weekend after visiting our Daughter at college. On the radio, the DJ said she saw a quote on Pinterest she had to share. It said:

"If your past calls, don't answer. It has nothing new to say."

I couldn't agree more! So many people choose various ways to deal with their past.

There are those who live in the past because they feel their best days are behind them. They relive the same victories over and over as if they just happened today. How sad to focus on their "Glory Days" as Bruce Springsteen called them. We all have victories and great memories from high school or college. It's good to remember good times but, for some, it can be all-consuming and they are unable to enjoy the present because, in their minds, it can never live up to the "good old days."

Then there are those haunted by their past. Disappointments, failures, traumatic events that keep them from being able to enjoy their present and have a hope for the future. Zig Ziglar gave us this great quote:

"Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand new day and it's yours."

I believe the most powerful approach to take regarding the past is to let it be a teacher. Whether great victories or terrible defeats, the most important step to take is to learn from everything that has happened and apply the lessons learned to today.

It's amazing how much we can learn from past experiences. By applying what we've learned, we become more enabled and exponentially increase our likelihood of success today!

Don't live in the past! Use your previous successes to propel you further today.

Don't let your past keep you from achieving all you can today! The past is not an anchor, it's a teacher. Properly applied, with the correct amount of importance, your past mistakes and disappointments can be tremendously helpful.

You must develop the proper attitude toward the past!

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28

 

Aspiration: The Key to Never Settling

"Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars!"

I must have heard Casey Kasem say those words over 500 times as a teenager listening to his American Top 40 radio show. I enjoyed knowing what songs had climbed and fallen on the charts the following week, the long distance dedications, the interesting facts behind a song or group Casey would share, but it was those words that had the greatest impact on me. Growing up in northern Minnesota, there weren't many people providing such sound advice.

Very early in life, I learned the importance of aspiration. I have seen the dramatic positive outcomes for those who continually pushed themselves and never accepted where they were as where they would stay. Conversely, I have seen a lot of people get stuck settling. Maybe not happy where they were but too scared to step out of their comfort zone and see what else they may be able to accomplish.

Last week, I talked about the power of an attitude of gratitude. Here is how I know gratitude and aspiration can and, quite honestly, must work together. You must be grateful for everything you have and achieved AS you pursue what you want. Aspiration without gratitude leads to obsession and that's not healthy.

When I heard Casey Kasem repeat those words week after week as I was growing up on a farm, living in a trailer house with what would seem from the outside to be very little to be grateful for, aspiration took root. I "saw" myself going to college and living in a big city. I "saw" myself making a good living, having a great family, and traveling a lot. The key to aspiration is once a goal is achieved, another bigger, better goal must be set. Always be pushing yourself. It's when we settle where we are that causes us to miss out on living up to our full potential.

On this aspiration road, are there bumps? Of course there are. However, the greatest asset aspiration affords you is a "big picture view" of what you want to accomplish. When you have this view, it will minimize and trivialize the setbacks and temporary failures.

This week, do a little soul-searching to see if maybe you've settled in some areas of your life. Once identified, start the process of aspiration again. You must "see" before you believe and believe before you achieve. And remember what Michelangelo said:

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

Don't aim to low and hit! Better to aim too high and miss! But the real key to success through an attitude of aspiration is to never stop setting, and pursuing, higher and higher targets.

"I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward." Philippians 3:13 & 14 (AMP)