You Don't Have To, You Get To!

I heard a sermon a number of years ago that had a profound effect on me. I was recently reminded of it when my wife and I were at our veterinarian's office. A car pulled in after we had parked and gone inside. I remembered I needed something out of our vehicle and went back outside just in time to see an elderly woman attempting to get out of the car next to ours. I immediately ran up to the car and assisted her. She was very appreciative and thanked me multiple times as we entered the office together. My wife witnessed the event and commented how nice that was of me to help her. My response is what brought the memory of that sermon back to me. I said, "It wasn't that I had to help her, I'm really glad I got to help her."

The sermon that Sunday over a decade ago was all around a change in our perspective. If we could make a simple shift from "have to" to "get to," we would find life a lot more rewarding. Allow me to explain.

For years, I did not like putting out Christmas lights on our house. The whole process of decorating actually put me in a very bad mood. My wife, on the other hand, loves having lights, decorations, wreaths, you name it, the more the better as far as she is concerned. Every year, I mumbled and grumbled about having to put up all these decorations. It was such a hassle. Then I heard that sermon. I realized that I didn't "have to" put out the decorations but I "got to" and, in the process, make my wife really happy.

I've continually tried to translate this move from "have to" to "get to" to every area of my life. I no longer "had to" drive up to the stables to help my daughter ride her horse, I "got to." Yard work, always an unpleasant "have to," became an enjoyable "get to" activity. Even mucking out the stalls when we had horses made the transition from burdensome "have to" to a great "get to." You'll no longer "have to" do those menial tasks around the house, you "get to." Various projects and trivial duties at work will no longer "have to" be done, but you'll "get to" do them.

"Have to" carries with it obligation and going against your own will. "Get to" is such a better mindset from which to operate when doing anything, especially for someone else. Our selfish nature tends to kick in and make us feel sorry for ourselves when we are sacrificing to help someone else. By shifting from "have to" to "get to," the obligation is gone. Your will is taken out of the picture. You now shift into a more agreeable mindset and being a blessing. This "get to" perspective is great fuel that fires the engine of an attitude of gratitude. It's hard not to be grateful when you are focused on all the things you "get to" do. Just by changing your perspective, your mind will create reasons why you "get to." Try it. You'll see. When you're picking the kids up from school, tell yourself, "I get to pick them up," your mind will automatically go to, "Yes I do. There are so many parents who would love to be able to talk to their children immediately after school and I am the fortunate one that does." For you salespeople out there, saying, "I get to make cold calls today," your mind will go to, "Yes, I do, and in this job market, how fortunate am I that I have a job that provides me the income and opportunity I have?"

What prompted the sermon and this change in perspective was a speech delivered by Robertson McQuilken as he resigned his post as President of Columbia International University in order to care for his ill wife. If you'd like to hear that powerful 2 minute speech, here you go:

Imagine how less impactful this speech would have been had Dr. McQuilkin not approached it from the "get to" perspective and, instead, focused on himself and what he was giving up because he had to take care of Muriel.

This week, give this perspective shift a try. See if you don't find it to be a powerful way to move from dread and obligation to joy and positivity. Remember, you don't have to do anything, you get to!

"Let each one [give] as he has made up his own mind and purposed in his heart, not reluctantly or sorrowfully or under compulsion, for God loves (He takes pleasure in, prizes above other things, and is unwilling to abandon or to do without) a cheerful (joyous, "prompt to do it") giver [whose heart is in his giving]." 2 Corinthians 9:7 (AMP)