What Are You Listening To?

"You didn't hear a word I just said, did you?"

My wife and I were watching one of the football games this past Sunday and I was playing on my iPad at the same time. She read me something, looked over and asked that very simple question. I had to admit that, no, I did not hear her. I missed the truly important because of the trivial.

This exchange got me thinking about what we listen to on a regular basis, both externally and internally.

Externally, who and what are you listening to on a regular basis? Are the people closest to you offering up good solid advice with your best interest and success as their intent or do they have, perhaps, their own self-interest in mind when providing you with free counsel? What are you watching on TV? What are you reading? What do you listen to in the car, at home, or when you workout?

Internally, what are the first thoughts you have when faced with a difficult decision or challenging situation. Are they negative or positive thoughts? Do they go directly to a worst- or best-case scenario? Do they point to a solution or just magnify the problem? We can learn a lot about ourselves if we simply reflect on the first thoughts that initially come into our minds.

We have many choices to make every day. What we choose to listen to is one of the most important.

Re-evaluate who's providing you advice. Consider their motives and intent. Years ago, I had a life-altering decision to make; stay in Minnesota or follow my dream to move to Texas. I had a lot of well-meaning friends offering me opinions of why Texas would be a really bad move. I knew it was what I was supposed to do and I'm so glad I didn't heed their warning. I can't imagine my life if I had listened to the people who wanted to keep me where I was instead of letting me pursue my destiny.

Consider what is coming into your mind through you eyes and ears. You can literally change the way the way you think if you'll change what goes into your mind. My philosophies and attitudes have radically changed since I stopped reading "fluff" and listening to pop culture personalities. With a focus on reading the Bible and listening to people like Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, and Joel Osteen, everything changed. Modifying my music preference from Top 40 to Contemporary Christian has had a profound, positive effect on me, also.

And, finally, listen to your internal voice. Get your own internal dialogue going. Question whether or not what you're saying to yourself is going to produce a positive or negative outcome. You have the power to choose how this conversation goes, what your ultimate response is, and what future conversations/outcomes will consist of.

Make these changes in what you're listening to and watch your entire outlook on life change in an extremely positive way.

"Blessed (happy, fortunate, prosperous, and enviable) is the man who walks and lives not in the counsel of the ungodly [following their advice, their plans and purposes], nor stands [submissive and inactive] in the path where sinners walk, nor sits down [to relax and rest] where the scornful [and the mockers] gather." Psalm 1:1 (AMP)

January First

Having survived half a century of January Firsts, I have some experience and lessons learned in setting up a new year. The initial years of my adult life, I didn't take the importance of a new year as seriously as I should have. There just seemed to be so many in front of me.

January First is the key to a successful year. But my first step in making sure it is maximized is to step back one day. December 31st is my day of reflection. To make January First the most impactful I can, I need to take all the choices and decisions I made, all the actions I took, all the results I achieved and use the power of hindsight to learn from them. I can then take this insight and apply it going forward. That's what can make January First so powerful. I can compare what I set up to achieve last January First with what I actually did by December 31st. This can be incredibly effective if you'll just be honest with yourself. Celebrate the victories and learn from where you fell short.

Next step is setting the goals for the coming year. Scripture tells us:

"Where there is no vision, the people perish." Proverbs 29:18 

Knowing this, you have to get a vision for your next 364 days. Focus on all of you; mind, body, and spirit. Determine what you want to accomplish in those three areas. Having studied goal-setting for a long time, I recommend the S.M.A.R.T. goal methodology with one exception. S.M.A.R.T. is an acrostic for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-based. The one change I recommend is enlarging and expanding what you consider to be "Attainable." Know that you are capable of much more than you even imagine. Don't shy away from setting big goals. In fact, replace "Attainable" with "Audacious" in your S.M.A.R.T. process. Remember Michelangelo said:

"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark."

And this powerful quote from Paulo Coelo:

"Impossible is just an opinion."

Get your Specific, Measurable, Audacious, Relevant, and Time-based goals for your mind, body, and spirit written down. Include personal, professional, relational and financial goals. Now start laying out an action plan on how best to accomplish them. Set milestones. Focus on how you will accomplish these goals in the time-frame you've allotted.

Finally, take your plan and start acting on it. December 31st is my reflection time. January 1st is my planning time and January 2nd begins my action time. Check your progress periodically. Some goals you need to review daily, some weekly, at the longest, monthly. Don't let too much time go by without a thorough review of where you are right now. Again, honesty with yourself is the best policy! Make adjustments as necessary to keep you on track.

Throughout this process, I recommend prayer. Prayerfully reflecting, planning, and acting makes each activity much more effective.

Reflect, plan, and act. Do these things with today being the day you plan it all out and I guarantee you the next 364 days will be the most productive and satisfying of your life. It all begins with January First!

"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13&14 (NIV)

Gifts

This time of year always generates a lot of conversation around gifts. When I was young, this was a very exciting time. My sister and I would circle multiple items in the Sears catalog knowing we wouldn't get everything but we knew we were getting something.

Gifts are like that. They create excitement and anticipation in both the giver and the receiver. I have given and gotten a lot of great gifts over the years. That sense of excitement as the paper is being torn just before opening the box to reveal the surprise inside is one of the great feelings of our lives, isn't it?

But after the opening, beyond the initial euphoria, the real measure of a gift is how long it is used or remembered. My daughter wanted a bow and arrows last year for Christmas. I saw the excitement on her face when she opened that present but I didn't really understand how good that gift was until now, a year later. She still goes out regularly and practices. We've had to buy new arrows because the original ones wore out. She finds shooting her bow relaxing and a great stress-relief. Who knew? But what a great indicator that that was a good gift.

We gave my dad cowboy boots for Christmas 18 years ago. He's had to have them re-soled 3 times! As the gift-giver, there's no better feeling than knowing the gift is used over and over again.

The gifts we give and get this year are great but there's a perspective I am taking with me out of this Christmas season and into 2014. Regardless of the count under the tree, we've all been given some pretty incredible gifts by God. And while they aren't the kind you buy at the store, they are immeasurably valuable. Here's three things I'm suggesting we do between now and January 1st, 2014:

1. Take inventory of your gifts. If you need to, pretend like you're opening your God-given gifts for the first time. Determine what you have been given by the Creator of the universe that are yours specifically. I know people with tangible gifts like singing, painting, or playing an instrument as well as intangible ones like serving, leading, and encouraging. A gift from God is something that you can do that I can only look at and shake my head. It comes naturally to one person and is almost inconceivable to another. You need to know all of the wonderful gifts you've been given and, trust me, you have been given many of them!
2. Once you've taken inventory, determine how well you are utilizing each one. Just like my dad's boots, it pleases God when we are taking what he has so graciously given us and using it to it's fullest. Don't let a gift sit on a shelf and collect dust. There is a Divine purpose for the gifts you've been given but you control whether you choose to maximize them or let them waste away.
3. Resolve to truly use each of your gifts. I know January 1st is the day to make resolutions but the problem is most of those fall by the wayside by January 15th. Start taking inventory now, determine utilization of your gifts, and then write down how you plan to implement taking advantage of each of the gifts you have. Refer back to your plan often. Adjust and adapt your plan to a changing environment but make a commitment to yourself that, from this day forward, none of the gifts you have will be unused again.

One of my favorite speakers is Les Brown. He says:

"The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream."

Don't let that be you! Don't die with unopened or under-utilized gifts! In 2014, I am determined to be more of who God created me to be and hope you will too!

"His lord said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.'" Matthew 25:20

Storms Of Life

Last week, a large portion of the U.S. got hit by Winter Storm Cleon. There was a lot of damage and even some deaths. Lives were disrupted with power outages and icy conditions making it impossible to travel. Dallas/Ft. Worth International Airport, alone, had thousands of flight cancellations. I got to spend a little extra time in Minneapolis because of the issues in Dallas.

The last couple of days, I got to thinking about this storm and the others we face. I'm talking about not just the weather-related storms like Cleon, Katrina, or Sandy (just to name a few), but the other "life storms" that come in and cause chaos and confusion. The sudden death of a close friend or family member. The loss of a job. Health issues that impact our day-to-day lives. Financial burdens that stress and strain the closest of relationships. A child dealing with an issue for the first time on their own where we can't be the problem-solver. There are so many storms that come in. How best to deal with them?

As I ponder these storms, I offer up three things to keep in mind while going through them:

1. Keep your peace - Storms are disruptive. They, by nature, cause chaos and confusion. If you allow yourself to get caught up in it, your thinking becomes irrational and decision-making is impaired. Having grown up in northern Minnesota, rarely did a winter season go by without a story of someone going in the ditch in the middle of a blizzard and, instead of staying in the car and waiting for help, they chose to leave the safety of the vehicle and attempt to walk to the nearest house. This rarely had a positive outcome. Even in the worst of storms, there is peace to be found and it surpasses all understanding. It comes from within and if you are able to maintain your peace, resolution will come. Keeping your peace is imperative to weathering any storm.
2. Find the lessons to be learned - Every storm brings lessons to be learned. Cleon taught my wife and me that it's better to stock up in the days leading up to the storm rather than waiting until after to get food and necessities. If you can turn your perspective from the bad the storm has brought to the good that came of it, you will be much better off. Sometimes, the lessons are small, many times they are huge. Always, they are valuable. The lessons learned from the previous storm can get you ready and more able to deal with the next one that comes along.
3. Know that this, too, shall pass - Storms are never forever. They will pass. If you focus too much on the storm and not on keeping your peace and finding the lessons to learn, you may think the storm is here to stay. Trust me, it did not come to stay, it came to pass! Keep a long-term view of your life. Look back on other similar situations that, at the time, you thought were never going to end but did. There is a lot of power in a long-term view of a short-term storm.

Storms will come, how you choose to respond to them is your power. Keep your peace, find the lessons to be learned, and always remember that this, too, shall pass. Do this and you'll not only weather the storm, you'll be better off because of it!

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and  have conquered it for you.] - John 16:33 (AMP)

Giving Thanks For Everything!

When I was 18 years old, my mom, suddenly and tragically, passed away. Sitting at a basketball game, she got a headache. A few short days later, she died from a brain aneurysm. To this day, when someone says they have a headache, I can't help but "go there" for just a moment. Right now you're probably thinking, "What a strange way for a blog titled, 'Observations of an Optimist,' to start." Not really. Let me explain.

Everyone, even optimists, has to deal with tragedies, setbacks, and disappointments. I have met people who suffered horrible abuse as a child. I know others who were born with birth defects that should have debilitated them. Death is part of life and we all have, or will have, to deal with loss. But what I learned from going through the loss of my mom and from the stories of people like Joyce Meyer and Nick Vujicic is that it's not what happens to you, it's how you respond to what happens to you that really matters.

I was watching one of the NFL pre-game shows yesterday. They did a story about the decisions the NFL had to make 50 years ago immediately following the assassination of President Kennedy. Part of the decision-making process whether to play or not to play the scheduled games included the question, "What would President Kennedy want us to do?" I was reminded of a decision I had to make just a couple of days after mom died. Would I play in one of my last high school basketball games or not? Everyone would have understood if I hadn't but I found myself asking, "What would mom want me to do?" Talk about a powerful question! The NFL games were played as scheduled and I participated in my basketball game too.

As we gather this week for Thanksgiving, can I encourage you to be thankful for everything? I'm not advocating giving thanks for the losses, setbacks, and/or disappointments in your life but you can be thankful for the results. While I wish my mom was still here with me, I am extremely thankful for the time I had with her. I'm thankful for the man I've become because of what I had to endure as a result of losing her at such a young age. I don't think I'd be near as independent-minded as I am. I would have made very different decisions in my life had she still been here and that would mean I wouldn't have my wife, Wendy, or our incredible daughter, Victoria. I can't imagine a life without them in it.

Joyce Meyer has said if she could, she would not go back and remove the horrible abuse she endured for years at the hands of her father. Why? Because it's that experience that has made her what she is today and it's her story that helps change people's lives all over the world.

Nick Vujicic will tell you if he could be born with arms and legs he would choose not to. He knows the impact he's having in the lives of youth, as well as adults, globally.

This Thanksgiving, be sure to give thanks for everything!

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Challenge Yourself

The story of David and Goliath is well known. I've heard it used as a metaphor for overcoming the obstacles in your life. This is a very effective and useful approach. However, I'd like to put a little different spin on the story for consideration.

We all know David was a shepherd boy. The youngest son of Jesse. He was tending sheep while his oldest brothers were serving in the Israeli army. The Israelites had come up against the Philistines and Goliath was challenging one of them, any one of them, to a duel. Winner take all. No one on the Israeli side would take the challenge. David just happened to be taking food and supplies to his brothers on the front line when he heard the taunting challenge from Goliath. David stepped up and, in one of the great underdog stories ever, defeated Goliath.

Here's what I'd like you to consider this Monday morning; Goliath was not an obstacle in David's way. David wasn't even supposed to be there, on the front line, that day. David chose the challenge of Goliath.

What challenges are you choosing to take on today?

We all have those daily situations that life throws at us that are challenging. But what we need to realize is that overcoming the situations that come at us are only preparation for the battles we are supposed initiate ourselves. David had faced lions and bears and other obstacles in his daily routine of being a shepherd. But they weren't the challenges that propelled him to his destiny. Goliath was! And Goliath was a challenge he chose to take on.

As you look back on your life, what are the battles you've fought and won (or, maybe, lost but learned from) that were the preparation for a challenge you feel you can now win in pursuit of your purpose? Look for the challenges that will allow you to grow into the person you are called to be. Be aggressive in taking on those challenges of your choosing because of what you've overcome in your past. You're still standing and there's a reason for that. You've conquered your lions and bears along the way. Now, find Goliath and go for it!

"But David said to Saul, 'Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.'
"Saul said to David, 'Go, and the Lord be with you.'" - 1 Samuel 17:34-37

Who Are You?

I attended a company function last week. At this function, I observed activities I've seen thousands of times over my 25 years in business; choices being made that either help or hinder individual careers.

It never ceases to amaze me the way people will choose to act at corporate events. There are typically two different approaches; one includes those who think because they are away from family and their regular routine that it's okay to "let your hair down" and act in a way that's less than professional. The other is maintaining one's professionalism, especially when around peers, knowing that these impressions are what people take away with them when the event is over.

Two months ago, I heard Bruce Turkel, an expert on branding, speak. He said the definition of a brand is "what people say about you when you're not there." As you think about, and work on, your own personal brand, the question has to be asked, "What do people say about you when you're not there?"

There are many tools to help build your personal brand. Linkedin, Twitter, Facebook, blogging, etc. all have a place as you create and propagate your message to the world. While these tools are helpful, we can't forget one of the most powerful and unique; the personal experience. What you say is not near as important as what you do. If your message via the various social sites is not consistent with what people witness when they interact with you, your credibility will be lost immediately and your personal brand will suffer dramatically.

Today, think about your core principles. Determine those things most important to you. Craft your message that is consistent with those principles and start sharing them with the world. THEN, in every interaction, conversation, and email and text exchange make sure your actions are speaking louder than your words as you live out those principles and message.

One of the gentlemen who had tremendous influence on me is Zig Ziglar. I quote him often. I've had the privilege of attending Monday Morning Devotionals at Ziglar corporate headquarters here in Dallas. Zig passed away last November but I have spoken with many who worked for him and those who knew him on a very personal level. One of those people is Bryan Flanagan. Bryan worked for Zig for almost 30 years. When we were talking about Zig a couple of weeks ago, he said something that I consider to be one of the all-time greatest compliments one person can give another. He said of his friend, Zig Ziglar, "He was the most consistent man I've ever met. What you heard him say, what he wrote, every speech he gave, he lived it." Wow! What a legacy that is!

Are your actions consistent with who you want to be? What do people say about you when you're not there? The great news is if you haven't been as consistent as you'd like, you can change that today! Start making better choices. Understand the power of every interaction you have. Get a clear vision of who you are and then start acting in a manner confirming that.

"Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life. Put away from you false and dishonest speech, and willful and contrary talk put far from you. Let your eyes look right on [with fixed purpose], and let your gaze be straight before you. Consider well the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established and ordered aright." Proverbs 4:23-26 (AMP)